What a feeling

 Kerr Bear,

I’m sitting in the parking lot early for my dental appointment.  I’m starting Invisalign for the second time … cool.  On the way here I heard flashdance’s what a feeling.  At first I smiled, then my heart grew bigger, and then tears started tickling my eyes.  The song makes me think of you.  The smile is because I can imagine you singing it - both in the quiet way you sang in the background as you did mundane things (like when you sang it as you cleaned up your kitchen and I was belted it like dying cats to the boys wii karaoke) and I smiled because I can imagine you singing it loudly in the car.  I smile because it makes me happy to think of you content, and happy.  But the tears come from missing you.  Missing the comfort of you.  My whole life you were my sister, but for my whole life you were also my second mom and my guidepost.  How lucky am I to have had, in one person, a sister, a guiding light, a bitch-fest friend, a confidant, a travel buddy, and a person who got me like no other.  The hard thing about having all of that and feeling lucky I had that is also feeling really sad I don’t any longer.  I miss you.  I miss the comfort of you.  I especially miss your vanilla scented hugs.

I’ll write soon with updates! But all in all the boys are good - Issac graduates in May and has a fabulous job in his field starting in June, Andrew is still in Louisville :( but doing great and showing his work how fabulous he is.  He owns part of a horse, too (MaryLou!)!! And Simon, he still doesn’t talk to me directly but I think he’s doing okay and is smart as ever at school.  I miss him.  Daniel’s 1 year anniversary just happened. Another day and tragedy I wish I could take away from them, from the Klein’s overall.  

Do you get to be with everyone?  Are you all watching?

We miss you.

XO

Me