Friday, November 15, 2019

21 years

Kerr,

Today is November 15th.  When I first found out your due date, I hoped you’d have Andrew 11/15.  I wanted him born on my 1/2 birthday.  Everyone said that wasn’t really possible given you were due 11/6.  Then 11/15 came and went...
Andrew will be 21 on Monday.  November 18th.  21.  21!  21?!
I really have a terrible memory.  But I can remember the day he was born, clearly.  I remember holding him for the first time (and thinking he had a big head... I had never really seen a baby’s head before).  I remember so many things I got to be a part of.  I grew up with Andrew.  We grew up together.  And now he’s the big teddy bear, far bigger than me, who’s hugs I live for and miss terribly while he’s away.
I wish you were here for his birthday.  I’m not sure what you would’ve done.  I try not to live every day wondering how it would be different if you were here, but special occasions are hard not to think that way.  I do know things would be different... better.  And I’m pretty certain Allan would’ve done something crazy ... Vegas?! A car?! Both?!
21 years of Andrew.  Thank you!  Thank you for giving me the best gift.  You gave me a love stronger and deeper than I can describe.  He was what I lived for at 10 years old and at 17 years old and at 26 years old and every day since.  Kerry, you made me an Aunt.  You gave me a full heart that has only gotten fuller over the years with Issac and Simon and the girls, whom I do believe you sent me.
I love you.  I miss you.

XO
me

2 comments:

  1. It’s so hard to believe that Andrew will be 21. Kerry made me a Bub!! I know how much you love the boys. I know they love you back. They are beyond lucky to have you as their Aunt, but you are so much more. Kerry was lucky to have you as a sister and I’m lucky to have you as my baby. She would be so proud of how you watch over Andrew , Issac and Simon. Love you!!

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