Happy 45th birthday, Kerry!!
I can imagine you would’ve hated turning 45 (weird statement to make considering..) but you would’ve! So I probably would’ve said it on repeat, publicly wishing you a happy 45th birthday instead of just ‘happy birthday!’. You would’ve freaked out because 45 is the next big milestone birthday to 50. And it would’ve sucked because you would’ve spent another birthday inside, only this time, not because of some crazy winter storm (although it did snow/rain), but because the pandemic is still very much here.
For your birthday, I got you a niece who looks like you (well, your baby pic)! Or at least I think so! Issac just says babies look like blobs so he doesn’t see it. Everyone is saying she’s my twin/looks like Simon. We named her Dakota Jolene; D for Allan David and J for Aaron Jack. Simon came up with Jolene. I wanted a regular size/big baby so badly. I wanted her to just be happy and healthy and she arrived weighing 8.3! One of the first things I said was ‘I got my squishy’. You’d love her!! I know you agreed, the squishier the better. Which is why you’d also be beyond obsessed with the most gorgeous, Ada. She’s growing so nicely and is certainly Miles’ sister - beautiful like him. I haven’t kissed her... her big cheeks, her beautiful hair. This pandemic sucks ass.
I just got Dakota back down to sleep and should fall back asleep myself before the big girls wake up, but I knew I wanted to write you. I miss you. I feel like we would’ve had one another in our Covid-friendly circles somehow. Even though the boys would’ve bugged you to go do what they wanted which would make them and you Covid risks, but somehow I just think we would’ve figured it out. So we would’ve had lunch and dinners and days together as much as we could. Maybe that’s just wishful thinking... but I sure do wish you were here. Even if just to text you. I feel like a lot of what I’d want to do is vent. Which isn’t great, but you would’ve been okay with it. I’d want to tell you how hard this all is and how much I just feel ... blah. New baby, wanting my body back, winter weather, Covid restrictions, no travel plans ... it’s a lot all at once. Planning a little birthday thing would’ve been fun for you though.
I love you. I really do hope and wish you’re somehow celebrating. Did Bubby make you cakes for your birthday, too? I’d have to assume so. We’re yours yellow cake with chocolate frosting? I don’t remember you loving Bubby’s sweets like I did. Funny enough, when I close my eyes and go back to holidays at Bubby’s, I can’t see you or Lance. Maybe you guys say at the dining room table? I don’t think you were with Jordan and me in the kitchen. I’m likely wrong about so many aspects here. But I hope she’s made you something fabulous. Maybe today would’ve been my big exception day and we would’ve gone for mani/pedis..?
Anyhoo... rambling again. The bottom line is, I wish I could celebrate with you today. I wish I could bitch with you every day. And oh how I wish, with all of my wishes, that I could have a Kerry hug. The big, tight, hug like you meant it, smelled like Vanilla sugar cookie, Kerry hug. I need it. I need you.
Happy 45th birthday my sweet sister.
XO
Me
