Hi Kerr Bear
Happy mother’s day to you. “The best mom to my nephews” as I always would write in your cards. You still are. They still act every day in the manner in which you raised them. They’re still incredible boys because of YOU. Andrew just finished freshman year of college at University of Louisville with a 3.2! And got into the business school! And instead of going to the Derby, he worked it - such drive and determination. Issac did phenomenal on his ACTs (and on the first try). I can’t wait to see where he’ll end up for college. Simon is doing well in school - got a 100 on a math test! And his grades this half will be better than they’ve been in years!
I haven’t written to you since February. Life’s been busy! I had the girls (after a couple hospital stays) on March 10th and March 11th. Yeeeesss - 2 birthdays! You would’ve totally insisted on 2 parties and you would’ve helped me plan each one every year. Kenna Faye (3.10) is named after you and Harley Fiona (3.11) is named after Bubby, Papa and Mac’s Grandparents. The girls are so cute & I love them so much but man oh man is it hard. There are many moments I want to text you and tell you things that most people would probably frown upon but you’d tell me it was okay and you thought those things, too, sometimes. I’m currently holding a sleepy Harley in my arms and watching Kenna sleep on her belly cause she failed at tummy time. My life really did a 180 and totally revolves around them (and their 3 hour sleep schedule). I breastfed for 6-7 weeks ... welll, I exclusively pumped since they were little and we needed to measure how much they were eating. I got mastitis twice and it sucked so bad. I had to stop ... I was miserable with the pumping schedule and the infection. I think it’s officially done now. You would’ve just zipped your mouth and rolled your eyes in an “I told you so” kind of way. But don’t worry - Simon did it for you. He said “you shouldn’t have breastfed”. “Mom always said not to.” Sure, I’m glad they got the nutrients and antibodies but I do think you were pretty right with that one. Simon is amazing with the babies!! He holds them and calms them and talks to them and isn’t afraid to!
I told Mac the other night that I’m not sooo excited for my first mother’s day. Maybe it’s because you’re not here which puts a sting on it or maybe it’s because, for a few years now, the love I’ve had for your boys is like they were my own. I know - weird statement. But I don’t feel like this is my first mother’s day. By no means am I saying I’m a mother to those boys, but I do love them like they were my own. I’d do anything and everything for them. I hate this day for them. The whole country stops in May to celebrate moms, but theirs isn’t here to celebrate. I hope they’re celebrating their memories with you, but I just bet the day blows. I know on your birthday or death anniversary, I just wish the day away. I wonder if mother’s day is like that for them.
This post was a bit rambly (yup - not a word) but that’s how my brain works lately. It’s all over the place. Soooo much going on and so busy - real estate, events by Tess, groceries, dinners, dishes, laundry, bills, dr appts, life appts, travel, gifts to organize and then taking care of 2 infants. Woah! I just wish you were here for all the crazy.
Off to make some bottles - time to eat again.
Missing you always.
XO
