Hi Kerr,
I'm sitting in my new kitchen (built in bench seating) while 2 men are assembling our new furniture. I have a cup of tea next to me because, of course, in the middle of moving, I'm having an awful sinus/allergy issue and my back is out... But I'm happy. I was sitting here thinking about the happy memories Mac and I will create here, and I wished you'd be apart of them.
Jenna came by yesterday. Can you believe she'll be a kindergarten teacher at the k-2 school my kids will go to?! Makes me think her job and our house were all meant to be. She was looking at all of the light fixtures and said you'd love them. It's true. They have hanging crystals and are modern just like your kitchen.
You'd love everything about the house, but mostly, you would've loved me being closer to you. The big boys came yesterday to help unload the truck. They're amazing. You'd love how goofy they are (and you'd hate it and freak when they get annoying which would probably just cause them to burst out laughing).
I'm going to host rosh hashanah this year. And probably kol nidre or break the fast. Whatever mom wants. She doesn't like having the holidays anymore.... Especially what you would've hosted. Michelle was excited when she found out we we're moving to the burbs because last year she had both nights - we went by her for the second. I'm imagining where I'll put the buffet table and an additional kids table. It's nice we'll have the space. I always said I'd never host and that you'd get to do it forever. I imagined that maybe I'd have to once you were gone later in life, but I'd be so old by then that (1) I'd be mature enough to do it or (2) we'd eat out. :-)
I guess that time has come quicker than I'd ever imagined....
I miss you so terribly. With every new adventure in life or every turn or even every lame or shallow update, I wish you were there... To text, to call, to see.... There are days it seems to get harder, not easier, because it's proof you won't be apart of whatever I wanted and needed you for. Kelly (elyses daughter) had a baby boy! The bris was very nice but very hard. While attending, it really dawned on me that you won't be around for my kids. That they won't know the worlds best aunt. You won't be there to calm me down while I'm psycho during pregnancy and labor and raising children.... Oh how I miss you.
I love that now I'm closer to the boys. I love that you'd love our new house. I can't wait to feel you here and have you help make it a home.
Missing you always,
Me
Xo
